#39 - When the First Scam Fails, Scam Scam again!

I tell you, lasses and laddies - I give Mr. Frank Deins points for persistence. After our initial exchange, I thought perhaps he had taken some time to rest, reflect, and repent... or at least give the Diana Hacker manual of style a quick once-over.

Clearly, I was mistaken, because two days later:


Frank Deins
HEY.........THIS IS REAL OKAY


My goodness! Whatever was I thinking before? Clearly, now I must be convinced by his astute skills of persuasion. Or...



While I do appreciate your effort to make up for your earlier capitalization missteps by locking your caps, it actually manages to make even less a favorable statement than your first missive. All caps, you see, is referred to colloquially upon the internet as "Cruz Ctrls 4 Kewl" - a mockery meaning that, in actuality, it is quite far from cool.

Instead, as no doubt would be in keeping with the professional communications style guide for The Kansas Commission of Internet Gaming, I suggest that you only capitalize the initial letter of any given sentence as is the grammatical standard. Likewise, avoid beginning any of your communique's with such casual interjections as "hey" - do consider "dude" or "yo" to be equally right out.

And the ellipses - for the love of god, think of the ellipses! They must have tiny elliptical children to feed and clothe and watch over. The abuse stops with you!

Cheers!


But did the abuse stop with him? I cherished the hope! But after the passage of four more days:


hey.....am not here to play games nor joke......you just have to give me your full name and your home address so that the fedex man can come to your house and deliver your your money at your door step okay

Alas and alack. If only some of the caps from his previous message had made their way into this one. (Is there a wrestler called FedEx Man, yet? Their should be. Think of the lucrative tie-in deals! Not to mention all the opportunities for great taunt lines like "This is one dangerous package you WON'T want to sign for!")

Don't look at me like that. This IS my hobby, remember?


Can you also have him bring me a pony and a plastic rocket?


I think it's probably beyond hope that our darling Mr. Deins is a browncoat... we shall see. Or not. *holds breath*